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A yellow-and-teal plastic gun with a pump handle you had to work fifteen times for a two-second shot. Then somebody's cousin brought the CPS 2000 and the rules changed.

A handheld tape recorder with an extendable boom mic and a two-position speed switch. Kevin McCallister used it to book a hotel room. You used it to prank your dad.

A cardboard card, twenty-four little red plastic shutters, and a silo somewhere in Iowa. The shutters clicked closed. The road bumped them back open.

A three-ounce blob of neon slime sold in a plastic garbage can with a hinged lid. The lid was the whole product. The lid made the noise.

A boom box on the bleachers. Two lines of tape on the gym floor. A polite voice explaining that the beep is going to get faster, and that a shower after class is recommended. Everybody in the class knew this was going to end badly for at least half of them.

A yellow molded tray with three compartments, six round crackers, six pink meat discs, six orange cheese squares, and a Capri Sun. Oscar Mayer sold you a construction project and called it lunch.